Monday, May 22, 2006

Da Vinci Code is bad for your health

You listened to the nonsensical debate over whether it should be shown. You laughed at the congressman cum pastor who said that the movie was the work of Satan. By the way, he looked like a rabid dog on TV.

You read the early reviews which you hated. You told yourself that the critics don’t get it. “They just don’t get it,” you murmured to yourself.

You even bought a copy from your suking DVD vendor only to find out that it was the documentary and not the movie. You contemplated whether to return and throw the freaking copy at your suki’s face. You hesitated. He weighs 250 lbs and is taller than you by 3 inches. Besides, he is a member of the local syndicate and is known as the Berdugo ng Cotobato. Also, he looked really mean with that goatee which is 5 inches long. You felt weak.

Your friends sent you the text message with the supposed code in Tagalog which you forwarded to all the numbers in your address book. This made you miserable because you just wasted 250 pesos worth of load. You realized that your life is pathetic. You are PATHETIC. You derived pleasure from receiving and sending jokes via SMS.

You asked another friend to watch the movie with you. He declined. He said that he read the book and decided not to watch the movie. “Besides the movie is BAAAAAD,” he said. You told your friend that he is an idiot. “How can it be that bad when millions of people from around the world line up to watch the movie? It was the 12th Best Opening Day in Hollywood”, you screamed at your friend. He looked at you in the most condescending way and said: “Get a life, you freak.” You almost fell on your knees when you heard your friend uttered those words. You took double steps backward. “Why? I thought you were my friend,” you mumbled. You felt the horror of being nothing.

You ran away without looking back. You felt hot tears streaming down your face then something hit you. Scrreeeeech! Baaam! Blag! You heard people screaming. Your body ached terribly and the last thing you saw was the poster on the side of the bus that said: “Now showing: Da Vinci Code.” Before losing consciousness you muttered: “Tangina kasing hype yan eh.” Then you closed your eyes and there was nothing but darkness.

22 comments:

You have questions and I have answers said...

I doont like the movie the Da Vnci Code its a horrible movie. there isnt that many things that are really true. I mean if you read the bible it tell you all of the answers to the future. It tellsd us that things like that movie will sway you to think that god isnt true and that there really isnt a God i mean how horrible. From srm123

MrDJ said...

i have to disagree with srm123. the movie/book did not mentioned that God doesn't exist. if you analyze the fictional book, it just said that (1) there are a lot of gospels (gospel of mary, of this apostle, of that apostle) that the church did not included in the bible. (2) christ exists and there were no accusations that his miracles are not real.

the movie, i have to agree, is a poor adaptation.

i'm a catholic and my faith is not swayed by the movie/novel. yeah, it opened a lot of what-ifs (have you watched "The Gospel of Judas"). but i still believe that God exists and Christ is god's messanger of good news and moral values. whatever "moral" means.

MrDJ said...

btw... link me up in your blogs :)

http://jeepneydiaries.blogspot.com

Pete Rahon said...

hi joey, I like Tom Hanks since Splash, Big, etc. Da Vinci, the movie, though I only have heard an account of the novel from a friend ( have to read the novel yet), it is dragging indeed, and why the rating of 18, baduy talaga ng MTRCB. Well for the sake of Tom Hanks panoorin ninyo siya hehehe, but I need to read the novel. Hey, linking you up with my blog. Kailan tayo manonood kay Ms. C. Alexander?

Yowee said...

Nyahahaha..yan kasi,naniniwala sa hype! Pwede ka ng maging writer pero wala na pong Nginig eh, Komiks na lang. Don't wanna comment na lang bout the DVC, kakapagod, paulit-ulit na lang. Teka, e.cheat mo yung votes ha..nyahaha...evil...after you!

Rob a.k.a Bim said...

i like DVC (the book) but the movie is that great.

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btw, i got that pic you asked, from deviantart.com

twistedman said...

guys, i can't say anything about the movie. no plans to wath it. i've read the book though coz i've read holy blood and holy grail before.

mrdj, ur right. it's fiction. it should not affect one's faith.

rob, thanks for dropping by.

yowee, SINGAPORE NA ANG VENUE. and it was moved to last week of June. on one hand, IT'S SINGAPORE!!! on the other hand, there goes my chance of visiting cebu again and hooking up with you. what's a man got to do! Yey Singapore! hehehe

twistedman said...

pete, june 3 si cynthia sa conspi...text text tayo..i'll invite other friends as well

Yowee said...

great!just great!(with a hint of sarcasm) hehehe..joke..anyway,yeah,it's a little disappointing but what's a girl got to do?hehe..Singapore din yan so i'm sure you'll enjoy it there..party ka sa Zouk! i'll be here lang naman, pasalubong ko na lang! ^_^

adi said...

aaaay. inggit, inggit.

DON'T WATCH IT. JUST. DON'T. NO.

adi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LyZa said...

that's why they called it Fiction.

Bryan Anthony the First said...

my DVD copy is flying in from Manila tonight...

we've all heard what they say about it, but i might need to watch it still...

hey...excuse my slow grasp of information... did i get the last paragraph right? nadisgrasya ka? or fiction din... ;-)

Kiss My Mike said...

i still watched the movie just so i can note some points of comparison with the book. however, i wouldn't go into details about what i don't like the movie. all i'm saying is, i think i'm better off watching this:

http://adult.dvdempire.com/Exec/v1_item.asp?userid=99364792696693&item_id=1097000&tab=5&

jairam said...

I loved the book, and it seems to me that it's pure fiction. I have yet to watch the movie. Yeah, on the "pirated" version - DVD. I'm still waiting for the movie though, good thing I learned na purely documentary pa lang ang available.

twistedman said...

@kiss my mike: lol. the da vinci load! roflol. i hope there's a pirated one in our suking DVD tindahan. hahaha.

@bry: this piece is fiction po. i was kinda pissed lang sa hype surrounding the movie.

@lyza: thanks for dropping by. is that finger pointing at me? hehehe.

twistedman said...

@jairam: been to bohol two years ago. saw the tarsier. it's like seeing a pic of mine decades ago. thanks for visiting.

monmon said...

havent seen the movie but read it before it became too popular... it was misleading...

1. it said that god has a female counterpart... shekinah... i think
2. it isnt really good, speaking about its literary beauty... if non christians will read it, it wont be a very big deal... the plot is too predictable...its mystery appeal was just because of the secrets about jesus and da vinci that the author reckons are true...
3. hp books are way better...

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_assej_ said...

..heloo
..just want to ask a question
..if ur given a chance to interfere in the movie (the da vinci code), what would it be??
..plzzz answer it guysss
..i badly need ur help..

_assej_ said...

..heloo
..just want to ask a question
..if ur given a chance to interfere in the movie (the da vinci code), what would it be??
..plzzz answer it guysss
..i badly need ur help..